Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

When you sit back and truly ponder the choices you’ve made throughout your life and the reality those decisions created, you begin to see a clear picture of why you are the way you are.

Before you slide down the wall screaming,

“ Why me?”,

Understand that deep down, you already know why. You played a part in shaping this reality.

It’s not that you asked for betrayal from a lustful boyfriend or to be fired from your mediocre job, but you did ask for true love and a job that ignites your passions.

The journey to those desires might come with unexpected challenges and lessons.

This does not mean you can’t reach the things you’ve been praying for; it just means you have to be the person ready to receive them.

You must forgo the placeholders, the comfortability, and anything else that is not strengthening your mind, body, and spirit.

Lastly, rid yourself of anything or anyone that could stand between your connection to yourself and the reality you are seeking.

Embracing Personal Responsibility

I feel like my frontal lobe is developing because I’m finally starting to recognize the blame I easily shift onto others instead of taking accountability.

In the past, whenever a boyfriend betrayed my trust — through disloyalty, lying, or neglect — I would respond by diving headfirst into the dating scene, exploring multiple options before eventually settling down with someone new. But after my most recent breakup, I had a revelation: this reaction was only leading me back to the same kind of toxic relationships I was trying to escape.

If I want a healthy relationship, it’s my responsibility to be a good partner. The key to being a good partner starts with loving myself deeply and only engaging with people who meet my standards and respect my boundaries.

It will do you no good to play victim after things don’t work out the way you had hoped. Not to say you aren’t a victim because you very well could be.

However, that mindset will have you shying away from things or accepting less than you actually deserve out of fear. That is the last thing you want to do and will not aid you in going where you want to go.

The Power of Intentions

Setting clear intentions has been a game-changer for me. By clearly defining what I want in life, whether it’s in career, relationships, or personal growth — I have a guiding star that influences my actions and decisions.

Intentions give me a sense of purpose and direction, ensuring that I stay aligned with my true desires.

The trick to this is to be extremely specific when deciding what you want out of life and how you’re going to get it.

Then, when you are following the schedule of someone who has all the things you want, remind yourself why your schedule has changed and why you are incorporating new, difficult things.

Transforming Challenges into Opportunities for Growth and Self-Discovery.

Life ebbs and flows like the ocean. If the world feels like it’s collapsing under your feet currently, next month you’ll feel like king of the hill.

We all experience this sort of yin-yang effect as humans, and it’s what makes the human experience so significant.

When you know this, you can better understand that the negative parts in life are needed to set you up for the success you couldn’t reach before or paint a better understanding of your needs and wants.

Now that you’ve been humbled or gained a new perspective, you’ve opened a new world of possibilities.

Each challenge I’ve faced has taught me valuable lessons about resilience, adaptability, and perseverance. Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, I now view them as stepping stones that help me become a better version of myself.

The Role of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is crucial for making conscious choices. By understanding my strengths, weaknesses, and triggers, I can navigate life more effectively. It allows me to respond rather than react, making decisions that are in line with my long-term goals and values.

A great way to cultivate stronger self-awareness is to listen to that little voice in your head. It is there to guide and protect. Don’t shut yourself out — instead, listen and simply do.

Cultivating Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. By developing resilience, I can handle life’s ups and downs with grace and strength. It involves maintaining a positive outlook, staying motivated, and continuously working on personal growth, even when things get tough.

I remember when I was in middle school, I was behind in math. In fact, I was so behind that they switched me out of my math class and put me into an online math class. They thought this would be a better alternative for me because I could go at my own pace.

However, without a mathematical base of any kind, I was even more confused than when I was in my original class. I expressed my concerns to my teacher, and she enlightened me. She made it clear that in order to do difficult things, you must persevere.

For the rest of the year, every time I fixed my lips to complain, all she would say to me was, “Persevere.” She wrote it on sticky notes and put them on my computer, wrote it on the board daily, and if I chose to ignore all that, she would verbally remind me.

I HATED her for this.

However, after I aged, I realized how valuable that one word is. With perseverance I can create any reality I want for myself … forever.

It really is and has always been that simple.

Aligning with Your True Desires

Aligning with your true desires can be more difficult than it seems sometimes. In order to be aligned, you need to understand yourself and what you really want.

That means you have to unlearn all the beliefs and patterns that were given to you without your will (usually from family members, long-term friends, and romantic relationships).

You need to completely rewire your brain and start fresh, knowing that nothing is impossible. Anything you want out of life, you can have, and anyone that taught you differently is wrong.

You need to set goals that resonate with your inner self and then take actions that aligns with those goals. This alignment cultivates a sense of fulfillment and purpose in everything you do.

Identifying and Overcoming Repetitive, Unproductive Behaviors.

Breaking free from negative patterns requires self-reflection and a willingness to change. By identifying behaviors that no longer serve me, I can replace them with positive habits that contribute to my well-being and success.

This transformation leads to a more fulfilling and empowered life. You can’t expect to see real change in your life without understanding why you do what you do. Once you figure that out, you will see which patterns align with your goals and which ones do not.

Here is a link to my post about self-discipline. I needed to master self-discipline in order to overcome my negative patterns.

Creating a New Reality

Creating a new reality starts with a vision and is followed by action. By setting clear goals, developing a plan, and staying committed, you (and I) can turn dreams into reality. It’s about taking small, consistent steps that lead to significant changes over time.

Try not to focus too much on the future; just act as if you have it already… now maintain.

Before you know it, you’ll have what you are seeking.

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Thank you for spending your time with me. I hope what I learned can help you reach your dream reality.

If you are interested in reading about mindfulness, check out my Medium here.

Okay bye. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️